This is Wednesday’s sermon for Wednesday September 24th, 2008.
EVERYDAY WISDOM PART 7
Wisdom for marriage fidelity.
We are continuing our Wednesday night series in the book of Proverbs, “Everyday Wisdom.”
It seems like that everything is our society is absolutely infatuated with sex. Many times a good TV show or a good movie is ruined because of a sex scene that has nothing to do with the plot or anything of the film. I can go into convenience stores to get something, or even grocery stores, and they will have life-size posters of women without much on, their bodies air-brushed to perfection, selling some sort of product. And you know it works, because men’s eyes are drawn to the picture, and then the little product they may be holding, or may be pointing too. I can drive to Houston, and there will be billboards after billboards, promoting all kinds of things, with women posing in a sexual nature. Or you can go by somewhere and see big signs that say, “XXX, Adult Entertainment, Topless,” things of that nature.
I hope that you are in agreement with me to this fact: our culture is completely obsessed with sex. You see, Sex sells. If it didn’t, it wouldn’t be used.
Are there consequences to living in a sex obsessed culture? Yes! Here are a few.
• 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extramarital affair at least one time in their lives.
• While the divorce rate is down in the U.S. (41%), it is up amongst American Christians (51%).
• The divorce rate for second marriages is 60%. For third marriages its 73%.
Church, this cycle must be broken. While we can’t do anything really about the world’s condition, we can about the church. If the Christian marriages would truly be obedient to the word and try to become Christ-like, the divorce rate amongst Christians would drop dramatically.
Does God have anything to say in the book of proverbs about sex and marriage? Yes He does, and tonight, we want to look at what He says, and endeavor to apply it to our lives.
Tonight, we will learn that we should find enjoyment and fulfillment in our own spouses when it comes to the marriage bed, while at the same time avoid the temptations and sexual sins outside of marriage.
Let’s pray and ask for the Holy Spirit to speak to us through Proverbs 5 tonight.
1. Sexual sin may start out pleasurable, but it ends in death.
Proverbs 5:3-5 NET – For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her seductive words are smoother than olive oil, 5:4 but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. 5:5 Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave.
A. Notice that Solomon starts off stating that the lips of an adulterous woman drip honey.
This is a Hebraic phrase in their literature that describes flattery, and smooth seductive talk. In our day, this would be flirting. Our culture actually teaches that there is nothing wrong with what they call, “harmless flirting.” But the Bible declares it too be wrong.
B. This is usually where affairs start, with flirting.
People don’t start out their day planning affairs, but someone may start taking notice in them. Stating, “I like how your clothes fit on you, or you look good in that color, or you look like you are losing weight, or I like the smell of your cologne or perfume, etc…” The next thing you know, the person starts to dress or use the cologne and perfume that the other person likes. It starts with attention, especially if they are not getting attention from their spouse.
C. If it continues, it will progress into either a full blown affair, or at the very least an inappropriate emotional relationship or entanglement, which can be just as bad on marriages as a full-blown affair.
D. And this will lead to destruction. Destruction of what you may ask?
Broken trust and emotions in marriage.
Guilt and condemnation of the one who has surrendered to sexual desire.
Loss of jobs, ministries, family, and the list could go on and on.
E. God does have a plan that if followed will keep us from falling into sexual sin. Let’s look quickly at the plan found in the book of Proverbs.
2. Avoid the temptation completely.
Proverbs 5:8 NET – Keep yourself far from her, and do not go near the door of her house…
A. Joseph is a good example.
When Potiphar’s wife desired him and wanted to have an affair with him, Joseph literally ran away from her. If even the flirting begins, I believe it needs to be nipped in the bud. It is alright to tell the person, “I’m a believer in Christ, and I only talk that way to my spouse, and no one else, so I’d appreciate it if you would not talk to me this way.” If it continues, then end the relationship. Do not allow it to go further.
B. Change the channel when scenes of a sexual nature come on.
Be careful of websites.
Don’t respond to any spam email.
Look away from the billboard and keep your eyes on the road.
Turn and look away from someone of the opposite sex that you find strongly appealing.
3. Enjoy sexual intimacy with your spouse.
Proverbs 5:15, 17-19 NET – 5:15 Drink water from your own cistern and running water from your own well. 5:17 Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. 5:18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in your young wife – 5:19 a loving doe, a graceful deer; may her breasts satisfy you at all times, may you be captivated by her love always.
A. Here is what the author of Hebrews has to say concerning the marriage bed and sexual intimacy.
Hebrews 13:4 NET – Marriage must be honored among all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, for God will judge sexually immoral people and adulterers.
How is the marriage bed kept pure and undefiled? By the husband and wife finding fulfillment of sexual desire with one another, not outside the bonds of matrimony.
There is so much more we could say found within the pages of Proverbs 5, but we are going to end here.
You may say, “Pastor, why are you preaching a message like this, we are Christians.” Well, the reason is we have too long not allowed this subject too be spoken of in church, and yet the Bible has some wonderful specific teachings on it, many more than I have even shared with you. We have seen the evidence of what has happened because of our refusal to discuss this subject. Take this message and apply it to your life. If you are married, avoid flirtatious relationships, just flirt with your spouse. Find your sexual fulfillment in your spouse, not TV, internet, or anything else out there. God has blessed sex within marriage, so keep it that way.
If you are unmarried: avoid sexual temptation. Save yourself for the one God may have for you. While you are in your unmarried state, give yourself completely to the Lord. Let Him be the lover of your soul; sell out to Him.
It is time that believers break the cycle of sexual sin and divorce that has been so prevalent in our society. Whether you have been married once, or on your second marriage, or whatever, determine to stay together, make divorce a word not allowed in your home, and love one another and please one another.
Let’s be a church that not even a hint of sexual sin can be found. We can be that church if we are surrendered to Christ and repent of any current sin.