Cancer: A word that strikes terror in your heart. When it is told you have it, you feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach.
I’ve had two biopsy’s now on my left kidney; the second one has shown up cancerous. The doctor called my Friday, June 17th, 2011 and told me this news. It seems like time has slowed down, it feels like he told me months ago. My thoughts are going all over the place, suddenly – I began to prioritize what is important to me and what isn’t.
What’s important to me:
- My relationship with God the Father through Jesus Christ. For some reason, His love for me has become so real. Not saying I feel it more, but the best way to describe it is that I know it more.
- My relationship with my family. I love my wife and kids so much, and I know whether this is a long drawn out process or a short walk through the valley of the shadow of death, they will have to experience it with me….that is comforting and yet at the same time scares me to death.
- My church family that I Pastor. Many are people who have been hurt by former Pastors and gone through difficult times; and I’m sure I have hurt many of them. I don’t want them to struggle because I’m going through this struggle.
- My philosophy. Romans 8:28 (NIV 2011) has become so real to me in this short amount of time: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Job also said it well: “The Lord gives; the Lord takes; blessed be the name of the Lord.”
Now the fun part begins: seeing God sustain me by either supernaturally healing me or walking with me through this process. All I know is that I will not be alone because the Good Shepherd will never leave me nor forsake me. That is such a comforting thought.